My Final Days
by tgoben94
Summary: As the Battle of Hogwarts rages on the dead welcome the new dead to the after life. Lily Potter find boy in particular who is struggling with his death as an attempt to cheer him up, she tells him the story of her own death. I don't own this particular HP idea. I would like to thank JK Rowling for her inspiration and contribution to reading and my love for writing.
1. Monday Dread and First Words

My final days

_*Flashbacks*_

_"Lilly and James you must hide. The prophecy states that a child will rise to power. Harry is that child you must run, you must hide," a man with a white beard was pleading with us to save ourselves and run. _

_"Albus we can't just uproot our lives with an 13 month old. It's hard. Where would we go, where would we live? How can the child in the prophecy be my son? I don't understand." My husband, James, was holding our pudgy ebony haired infant tight to his chest. _

_"James, we can't afford to lose our son. He's all we have right now. I won't have anymore kids, we can't lose him. James we must go." I brushed my husband's arm to let him know I was there and I was just as distressed as him. I couldn't understand how the prophecy uttered a year ago, by a friend who wasn't that reliable, was our son. I just couldn't begin to comprehend buried his nose into our sons black mane. As if to keep himself reminded of our sons purity. I put my lips to his ear and whispered "We'll be o.k. I know it."_

_*End flashback*_

Chapter 1 "Monday Dread and First Words"

I woke up in the midst of the night to my son, Harry, screaming at the top of his lungs. I rolled over to James and woke him as to say it was his turn. He shrugged and went back to sleep. That stupid seeker. I finally got up and lit my wand. "Lumos" The tip lit with a blue hue, that always brought a warm feeling to my heart. I remembered a great man saying, _"Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."_ Walking down the hallway to the tones of my screaming child made my thought be cut off. Harry's scream was different, it wasn't a scream of waking up. It was a scream of terror, a scream of pain. I dropped my wand and ran to my child fearing the worst. Fearing a man who was hunting us, Voldemort. Had he found us, did he hurt my child, was all of this for not? I flung open the blue door and there stood a figure, still and hooded. It was him but why hadn't he killed my son yet?"Get away from him! NOW!" I screamed at the cloaked figure looming over my purple faced child.

James heard my scream and was running towards the room. He entered with his wand drawn and turned in defense. "Get away from my son."

The cloaked man began to lower his hood. James eyes flicker in the lights of Harry's night light. Sirius. "I heard him screaming from the basement, I came to check on him mate."

"Oh Merlin, Sirius why were you here?"

"Janetica kicked me out said I disappeared to much. I just like being in dog mode sometimes." I picked up my son and soothed him. He finally stopped screaming and those bright red and green eyes stopped the water works. I held on to my son tight, not wanting to let go. I was terrified of letting him go, I had half-a-mind to sleep in his room. I was furious at my brother-in-law for scaring me like that. After the threats from the death eaters, them roaming around town, us having to hide in a cellar for up to 3 hours. This was becoming unbearable. Two months ago I had told my husband everything was going to be o.k. It was far from that. I hadn't talked to my friends in Broomsdon in months, I missed them. This wasn't my home but we were dealing. Godrics Hollow was secluded and protective. Half the Order lived here, if Harry was in danger it wouldn't have been for long. Harry was finally asleep in my arms. I looked down at his face and saw my son. His radish red face was beginning to go back to normal and his stubby nose now twitched slightly as if he was dreaming. His pink little lips hung open as if he was trying to suck in the air. This was my son and I would protect him, his whole life. I kissed him on his forehead and laid him back in his crib. His little feet began to try to kick out of his swaddle and his tiny, little hands balled in a fist. I knew then my boy was a fighter. James wrapped his arms around me and looked down at our son.

"Can you believe he's already 15 months? It feels like it was yesterday we were bringing him home from St. Mungos. Remember he kept screaming and you kept crying and saying you couldn't do this? Now look at him, he's completely "

"-fat. I don't think a broom will be able to hold up the seeker." Sirius chimed in. "He'll be a beater, if he keeps growing at this rate."

"I don't want a chubby seeker remember Peter. He couldn't stay on the broom."

"Yes, James I remember because you made me levitate him to hospital wing."

"Which you did amazingly, my love."

"Hmmm."

"So what are we going to do about the weight issue and about a broom."

"Well, we'll have to special order him one that can."

"Come on let's go back to bed. Sirius you got this?" Sirius morphed into a giant black dog and barked and started his wild tail wagging, but when he saw our face he whined and laid in front of Harry's crib. "Lil's nothing will get him with Sirius there."

I waked over and kissed the shaggy dog on the top of his head. His tail wagged, "Only one Sirius."

We woke up around 10 to the sound of playful barks and shrill giggles coming from Harry's room. It was nicer then the usual screaming Harry would let out. "Maybe we should keep him around. I slept well."

"James we aren't keeping SIrius as pet nor are we ever, so stop asking." I got up to go see what antics my son and his "pet" were up to. When I arrived Sirius was human and holding Harry in the air. My boy was giggling and blubbering like no tomorrow. Sirius got face to face with him and gave him zurburt. "You keep playing with him like that and you're going to have clean puke off yourself one of these days."

"I seriously doubt that."

"How did you sleep last night?"

"Your son snores. Like really bad."

"So does James. I thought you knew that."

James hollered from the room over, "I HAVE A CLOSED SINUS AND YOU KNOW THAT VERY WELL!"I started to changed my son diaper and Sirius left room at the sight of the brown mass. James walked into the room. His white shirt wrinkled, boxers hung at an angle, hair looking slightly electrocuted, glasses dirty and slightly crooked. This is the morning James and yet I found it very attractive. James walked over and gave me our morning kiss. James looked up at me and his hazel eyes leveled with mine. They brought comfort and we looked at our smiley child as he grinned at his parents. His green eyes matched mine and jet black hair was starting to look more like his father everyday. I had narrowed down Harry's reasons for screaming last night. The most likely one was that he was teething. I remember when my cousin Daisy was doing this. It was awful. All she did was cry and cry and cry, poop, and more crying. It finally ended a couple month later. That's, actually, how I found I was magical. James nuzzled my cheek with his nose and gave me a kiss.

"What was that for?"

"I don't do that enough lately."

"I liked it, but it was absolute rank."

"Haha I had onions last night."

"I can tell," I kissed him again he dipped me like he did when we were at the alter. This kiss was different, it was passionate, he picked me. Our lips locking together like our hands did on our first date. He playfully bit my lip. During this moment the war, the threats, my son's life being put in danger, the prophecy and the fear went away. All it was, was James and I. Love had hold of our fleeting moments but this was one I wasn't going to let go of for all eternity.

"You know since I married you I can tell when you're thinking."

"How James, you don't even notice when I get a haircut."

"Well, you haven't kissed me back in about two minutes, and yes I do."

"Oh. When was my last haircut?"

"At this point does it really matter?" James leaned back into my lips. My arms wrapped around his neck and my fingers combed through his hair. His lips began to trace my jaw line then found their way down my neck to my collar. I was now pressed against a blue giraffe on Harry's wall.

"I need to put him in his crib so he doesn't fall out...again."

"That was an accident."

"You were distracted by the fan."

"Exactly, an accident, and I was not."I pushed James away playfully, "Woah there carrot I didn't think we played like that?" James patted my bum and gave me a wink. I laid Harry down in his crib and James pulled me back into and set me on the changing table. My legs wrapped around him and he pressed himself up against me.

"Wow it's really early for this don't you think?" Sirius was leaning against the door eating a banana. His leg was crossed in front of the other and his arms crossed in front of his chest. He wore a smirk like someone wears a scarf. His smirk was famous for either casting girls into his arms or casting them out the door if used at the wrong time. It startled me so much I fell off the changing table half dressed, down to my bra and underwear. I grabbed James's shirt, threw it on and ran out the door blushing. "Way to drop her Prongs."

"How long were you there mate?"

"Don't change the subject."

"You...wow...pervert."

"That's what Janetica said when she threw my stuff on the lawn. Said something about me checking out her sister."

"That's not hard to believe."

"Hey, be nice." Sirius chimed. James began to walk down hallway, and ducked as I threw a pillow at him. "OW! YOU FIESTY GIRL!" he yelled as he growled, once again, casting that smirk my way. I threw my head back and gave Sirius a death glare as I stomped into my room.

The rest of the day I couldn't even look at Sirius without turning beet red. The thought of my husbands best friend seeing me in the state I was in made shutter at every glance. Harry was on his floor playing with a stuffed hippo my parents gave him. It was his favorite toy and his only toy since we couldn't bring everything when we went into hiding. "Hippo." We all flung around to stare at our son who was sitting up and pointing at the grey stuffed animal."Hippo." I ran to my son and scooped him into the air, so he could see how proud of him. James came behind me and kissed him on the foot."Mama, Mama, Mama," I kept repeating the two syllables over-and-over again hoping he would say it.

"Dada" Harry's second words.

James took him from me and held him close. "Yes, Harry I am your Dada. I will always and forever be your Dada" James held his son close enough for Harry to hear his heart beat and feel the love emitting from it. Sirius left the room, he looked like he was in a tuft so I decided to follow him out into the bitter cold fall air.

"Sirius you o.k.?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"Honestly? I want what you have, I want that moment where pride isn't enough of a word for the feelings you're feelings," Sirius began to cry, "I thought Jane was the one. I really did," Sirius began to cry harder. I had never seen him like this. It was almost payback for watching James and I this morning. His heart was breaking. I had no idea how to console him though. I walked over and hugged him. He sobbed on my shoulder and let out a whimper. Then I saw it a group of men, cloaked, walking down the street to our house.

"Death eaters."

"Where?"

"About 200 hundred feet, I can see their masks," my body began to shake in fear. I let go of Sirius and ran inside. "James get to the cellar there a group of 5 or 6 headed this way."

"Why do they always come right before dinner? I'm mean Merlin they have the worst timing." We grabbed the invisibility cloak and threw it over Harry, while Sirius went into dog mode and ran out the back door. Fear shot through my veins like was heart was pumping it out in surplus. They were so close to our house, in all the times this happened they were never this close. Did they finally see through the disguise that laid in front of them? We ran to Harry's room and tapped the stag three times. He ran to the side and showed the way into the cellar. I ran down the stairs. James joined a few minutes later with food from our dinner, so we could eat. We laid Harry in his second crib that was located down under the window. He quickly fell asleep oblivious to the present surrounding danger. After Harry fell asleep James and I waited. Pace, sit, pace look at each other in silence, feed Harry, burp harry and then start the cycle over-again. James and I would take shift sleeping, eventually we fell asleep together in our cellar. Sirius didn't return.


	2. Tuesday Blood and First Steps

Chapter 2

"Tuesday blood and First steps"

Sleeping on the thin mattress was the equivalent to sleeping on the hard ground. Harry was standing in his crib as if nothing had happened. His innocence was pure. James and I would always prepare for the day when we have to teach our son about defensive spells. I didn't want to think about the reasons why he would need to use them but part of being in the Order is to protect the next walked upstairs to Harry's humble yellow room. James ran his wand along the top of the wolf, it ran to the side which let open the doors to our freedom. I was so tired and sore that I wanted to take a nap. We had other things to worry about. We had to call Dumbledore, and Pettigrew. Albus would be worried if he hadn't heard from us. James and I exchanged glances as we walked down stairs. We were scared of what we would find of house. If it was in shambles or still standing. No, we found something worse. "NO! NO!" James ran to the kitchen where a pool of blood was gathering like ants drawn to food. Sirius's body carelessly laid amongst our cold tile floor.

"James what happened?" I was fighting the urge to cry. I couldn't bear this sight. I set down Harry in a clean spot on the floor and placed my hand against the wall for balanced. The entire room was spinning, Harry was crying and grabbing my leg so I would hold him. I couldn't move, my body was frozen and then it happened. He coughed, just one cough but it was enough to bring James and I back to reality. Sirius's steel colored eyes focused on the ceiling.

"James I know you love me but I would like to breathe." James dropped is weak body on the floor and laid himself against the wall for support. His hands were dripping red and blood stained. His wrinkled white shirt covered in crimson coloring. Sirius laid passed out on our floor, we levitated him to the guest bedroom. I turned to the portrait of James's parents and nodded twice. Pettigrew was one nod, Albus two nods, Ted Tonks was three nods and then finally a young man by the name of Arthur Weasley who live a couple blocks away with his wife and six sons and newborn daughter was four nods. James' dad, Ralph and mother Evalynn, left the portrait and slowly walked down the gravel path. It would take awhile for Albus to gather the group so we used this time to mend Sirius as much as we could."Guys I'm fine, really. It's just some cut's and scraps."

"James, can I go?"

"Yes," James looked up at me so he could see how I was doing, "you can go." I got up and left the room all the blood was making me dizzy. The panicked look on my husbands face brought memories.

_*Flashback*_

_Sirius looked like he'd seen a ghost, which wasn't very uncommon they were always roaming around. He was sitting in our kitchen with his face in his hand. His eyes blood shot and hair looking slightly similar to my husband-to-be's hair in the morning. He was breathing heavily and looking like he was about to pass out. "I can't believe this, we were always so careful James."_

_"Sometimes accident's happen Sirius. It's not your fault unless..."_

_"Don't even say that, I am not ready to be a dad yet. Not like you."My fiancé was talking about having kids on our first date. Wanting to have them right away. _

_"Yes, I know you were never very good with kids. Remember my nephew you almost dropped."_

_"Don't remind me, ahhhhh, I can't believe this!" _

_I touched my fiancé's shoulder as if we were tag teaming the combined relief effort, "Sirius, sit down," he was standing with the chair kicked back and heaving like he prepared to fight someone, "babies are hard work, but when you see it, and get to hold and love it, and think of names everything changes. You feel like a sudden rush of love hit you as you look at it. Like a protective love. You get to name it, its the most amazing feeling ever, I can't wait for ours to come."_

_"WHAT!" Oh no, I hadn't quite gotten around to telling my love that I was now 2 months pregnant. I turned to face him, he was sitting on the floor in the fetal position, "James I was going to-"He held up one finger._

_ "Our wedding is in one week and you didn't tell me I was going to be a father?"_

_ "James please understand, I was scared, I thought you'd leave!" _

_James stood up in silence, walked over to me and knelt down. He slowly lifted up my shirt to where part of my belly was put his forehead to it and whispered, "Can you hear me?" Then he looked up at me, stood up and took my face between his hands, "Love, How could I ever leave you?"_

_*End of Flashback*_

I stood at the top of the stairs and stared into the yellow light. I snapped out of my trance when Harry let out a small whine. I walked down the stairs towards my fat boy sucking his two fingers, picked him up and held him close, "You were the best surprise a mother could ask for." Harry looked up at me and his green eyes sparkled a sparkle no one could forget, "Harry James if you have that sparkle when you're older, you're going to drive girls crazy." He let out a big giggle as I lifted him in the air. "You're absolutely perfect."I set him on our kitchen floor and prepared for lunch. I got out left over from the dinner we never ate last night. All of sudden I felt the urge to look at Harry. He was standing up and grasping the chair for dear life. "JAMES!" I wasn't thinking when I screamed out, it might send my husband into a panic. It wasn't only him that came down though, five boys with wands drew came charging the stairs. First was Albus, then James, then Peter and Arthur were carrying down a wounded Sirius.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING!" All the boys, minus Sirius, was poised for a fight.

"Ummmm...boys put your wands down nothing's happening, except James your son is about to walk." Sure enough the moment everyone turned to see him, Harry let go and stepped forward. The room was quiet. I slowly bent down and held out my arms as he wobbled into them. The room erupted into loud cheers, and then rushes to grab Sirius who was accidentally dropped during the celebration.

After we got Sirius in bed and drew straws for who was going to take the rap for magically sealing the door shut, Arthur, we all had a massive lunch of veal, potato's and much butterbeer. After we all figured Sirius was out cold we discussed what happened the previous night; the death eaters, Sirius being so gravely injured, and how they found Sirius.

"Albus are we still safe?"

"James I don't know."

"HOW DON'T YOU KNOW! YOU'RE THE HEAD OF THE BLOODY ORDER!"

"James calm down!"

"NO, I WON'T LILY! I MOVED HERE TWO MONTHS AGO BECAUSE WE WEREN'T SAFE LILY, OUR SON WASN'T SAFE! NOW DUMBLEDORE TELLS US HE DOESN'T KNOW. WE MOVED HERE, LEFT OUR FRIENDS, OUR FAMILIES, OUR BLOODY LIVES!" James collapsed on the chair and put his excessively red face in his hands. He was sobbing.

"You're not safe." We all turned our towards the stairs where Sirius was leaning against the corner. Half holding his weak body and the other half was showing off how unweak he is. His hair was crusted with blood so clumped strands dangled in front of his tired grey eyes. "My brother found me on the street corner, bleeding and whimpering after the many curses I just-"

"And that's why you should still be in bed."Sirius shot Arthur a death glare, one that if you're receiving you'd most likely run, but Arthur sat staring him down as well.

"Like I was saying, after Regulus found me he told me four words, 'You have a rat.' I still don't know what he means but I believe it means that someone among us is trading secrets."

Albus had beed silently pacing across our kitchen floor for hours. He looked worried for the future, frightened for our sakes, horrified that someone would betray their friends, and most of all completely perplexed on what to do next. "It's a code word, all right." Peter sifted around in his chair, acting as if he was uncomfortable with the situation. "It's a different code word...are you sure Regulus said, 'rat'...How can we trust him though, he's a death eater...We won't follow this...no we won't, it's to dangerous." Talking to himself as if no one was there, he was, by this point, completely mad. So was James.

"Oy, Dumby, we are still here," James popped off, "this really isn't the time to be plotting to yourself," James was now standing, "you know with not one, not two, but three lives, innocent lives at stake."

"James go take a walk-"

"NO NOT WITH OUR LIVES AT STAKE! LILY I...I CAN'T DO THIS! MY BEST FRIEND ALMOST DIED, OUR SON CAN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE, WE CAN"T LEAVE THE BLOOMIN' HOUSE BECAUSE IT'S TO DANGEROUS, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

"James where are you going?"

"To find Remus!."

"Why."

"I need him." Just then my husband in all his anger slammed the door shut and apperated. I put my head in my hands and began hold back painful sobs.

"Excuse me, umm, I need to change Harry." I picked up my son and left the room. As I walked through the hallway I saw our moving pictures, James holding Harry, me holding Harry, James and I, all of us. Harry began to get fussy so I quickly scampered into his room. When I laid him down a thought came over me. I fell to the ground and began to sob unceasingly. I couldn't do this, I was so tired of the nightmares, the paranoia, I just couldn't-

"Lily? Are you o.k?" Despite my blurred vision I clearly made out the young face and red hair, Arthur. He came over beside me and sat down. I gravitated my weeping body to his. "Look, I know this is hard. I can't imagine what you're going through. Can I tell you a story, about my children?" Through the sobs I managed a weak yes.

"It was a few weeks ago and Ron was playing with Charlie's new dragon, this one was relatively tiny compared to the other dragons we bought him-"

"Arthur dragons are illegal."

"Stuffed. Anyway, Ron decided to take, Saph, the dragon, for a walk down Doolittle abbey. Of course, he didn't tell his mum or I before he took off. He was gone about a good 5 hours. All of a sudden my wife, Molly dearest, let out the most obnoxious, pitchy, eardrum splitting, dog whistle of a scream. In a moment she was crying and screaming utter gibberish while tearing up our home.

"WHERE IS CHARLIE'S DRAGON!"The women's red fuzzy hair was sticky straight out because she had been pulling on it so much. She would flipped the couch cushions up. As they began charge the picture frames, old and very deceased family members would scurry out of sight. 'Molly where's our younger son?' 'I don't know, I think he's in his room-' Then she saw it. The door was cracked open and one of Ronald's shoe stood in between the door frame and perpetual freedom. The whole world was opened to a 17 month old child. A child was running around Ottery St. Catchpole, barefoot, alone, only protection is a stuffed dragon, that breathed out little flames. Molly took off in a shot, out the front door and down our stoney path. Screaming Ronny's name down the up streets, up the down streets and sideways down the through streets. Everywhere and everyone could hear my deranged spouse screaming my missing son's name. Fredrick Gideon and George Fabian, my twins, soon ran out the door with not one article of clothing on except battle swords tied to their waist with rope and soap in their hair. They had just taken there third bath of the day. I honestly didn't really think much of it, except the neighbors were going to think we were nutters letting our children run around in the nude, outside in the cold, after a bath. I jumped out of my chair and grabbed my bare skinned twins out of the cold and carried them quaffle style back in the house. After three other boys there is a tactic to this style, one under each arm. I set down those mischievous twins and began to have a little chat.

"Freddie, George, who left the door open?"Two big blue sets of eyes stared up at me portraying innocence, that we knew could not exist in those two boys.

"Not us papa."

"One of you had to."

"Yet daddy-" said George.

"We can't even-" said Fred.

"Reach the door. We could if stood on top of each other."

"Well, did you George."

"Dad I'm 3."

"What about you Fred?"

"Dad I'm 4"

"No, you're 3"

"Mum says I'm odest."

"You are-"

"So I four."

"Then what I am I," George chimed in.

"You're the same as your brother."

"Oh," both said in completely unison.

"So who left the door open?"Just then both of my sons took off running. I looked down and saw a sight that brought a great relief to me. A little ginger head sticking out from under the chair. Ron. I picked up my snoozing 17 month old and carried him to bed. I told my eldest to watch his siblings while I go and look for his mother.

"It took me 2 hours to find her. She was in the pub searching under every table. When I told her where he was, she began to cry. I asked her why and she said, 'Even though I had 5 other sons, losing one would be unbearable.' I realized then how hard it must be for you and James to have your one and only son's life on the line. It made me hurt for you guys."

I looked at the ginger man who had tears beginning to have tears well up in his eyes, "Why did you tell me that."

Arthur took his burly arms and enclosed me in tight hug. "In the end no matter how hard life is, you must remember the moments you are blessed with. It is easy to lose track of them. Then you have to pick your self up and get on with life." He let me stay there and cry in his arms. Harry began to get fussy so he got up and began to change him.

"Arthur you don't have to do that."

"I know but I want to. You go eat, I got this."

"Thank you," I didn't realize it was already dinner. I walked down the stairs and there was chicken and mash potato's waiting for me on our table. Everyone had left to leave me and Arthur to watch over Harry. I looked down on the table and saw I note.

**_Lily,_**

_**Went to go look for James, he hasn't come back yet. Dumbledore has cook you some chicken I don't know if the bloke knew what he was doing, so be careful. If it's non edible there's left overs in the fridge. Most of all we want you to know you are not alone in this. I know that's what you feel and what you're telling yourself, stop. You have never been nor will be alone in this. They are saying he's getting weak. This could all be over soon. Eat up you need energy to take of that little one. Arthur is staying because he is the only one adequate to help take care of Harry. I love you. **_

_**With much Hope,**_

_**S.B **_

_**P.S. No one knows where Remus is. So don't be you and think you can do this all on your own, ask for help. **_

I held onto the note as long as I could before my stomach took control of my thought process. I had cried and panicked so much today that I was completely famished. While eating, my surprisingly good chicken and potato's, I kept thinking about what Sirius said, 'there's a rat' played over in my head. I dropped my fork. No, it couldn't be...would he do that...if so, what made him? I dismissed the parade of thoughts going through my head. I felt sick. I heard the door open. "Arthur?" He called back from Harry's room. Maybe it was just the wind. Then the window creaked, I proceeded over to it. When I looked out I saw a strange light. Blinking in my general direction, like a code. R-A-T. It was like a stone hit me. _I was right, I had to be right_. "Peter! How could he?" I went and sat back down at the kitchen table to finish my meal, yet suddenly it wasn't very appetizing but I finished it anyway. After I rinsed off my plate, I went to checked on Harry. Arthur was standing there with my child past out in his arms. "Arthur. I think it was Peter."

"What do you mean."

"Sirius said that Regulas had told him we had a rat. Why not use spy? It got me thinking that he used that word as a code like Albus said."

"I can see that. So why Peter?"

"When James and I were engaged he told me a secret that not only he could change over to animal state."

"Who else can besides Sirius and James?"

"Lupin is a werewolf and well, Peter."

"Let me guess Peter changes to-"

"A rat."

"Merlin's beard how did we miss that."

"He's one of James' closest friends why wouldn't we trust him"

"Lily go to bed. You are tired. I believe you...I mean it makes sense. But, go to sleep. You might think differently in the morning."

"I'm going to fold laundry first. My minds racing to much for me to sleep."

"Fold laundry...like...by hand?"

"Yes, I just need to be muggle."

"O.k. Night Evans." I went down stairs to our dryer, my parents bought us, and pulled out the warm pile of different clothing. As I carried them to the couch, my mind couldn't stop thinking and processing why he did this or would do this. James reached out to him at Hogwarts made him cool. Maybe that's it...Maybe it's because he felt so inferior to the boys that he wanted to get back at them. I rested my head on the warm laundry and closed my eyes for what I thought was a quick moment.


	3. Wednesday gloom and first deceit

Chapter 3 "Wednesday's gloom and first deceit"

I woke up in my clothes from yesterday and in an awkward position on the sofa. I was super groggy and uncoordinated. When I finally cleared my vision I saw a note and an omelet sitting in front of me.

Lily,

Don't worry all is well. You fell asleep folding laundry. Harry is at our house playing with Ron, They are surprising good together. Ginny keeps trying to interrupt though. Like I said all is fine. After our conversation last night, it got me thinking. I believe you're spot on. It explains all the missed meeting, why he was so uncomfortable last night, and why he all of a sudden is listening really carefully during meetings he didn't miss.I put Harry to bed shortly after that and came downstairs. I saw you sleeping on the sofa and I kept you there, you looked comfy, I left a note for the other boys just in case they came back. If you want to clean and put yourself back together again, do it. I am under orders from Dumbledore to let you have the day off. Clean or do your girl stuff. Molly is delighted to watch Harry. We are only about 20 minutes away. If you want me to bring Harry back send your patronus. I'm sorry but I don't believe James come home last night or found Remus, According to Sirius's patronus they were still searching, They are considering back to Broomsdon to look and that could take a day, Molly says you're welcomed to come over and join our lives to take your mind off things. Anyway's ta-ta, enjoy breakfast.

With Much Hope,

A.B.W

P.S. What's a hippo?

I put down the letter and basked in the quietness and loneliness my house casted. It was to eerie for me to handle so I began to write my thoughts down from the previous night about how a marauder could be a traitor to us. I no longer believed it was Lupin but now it had to be Peter.

James Dearest,

Please come home I am scared. I believe it's Peter Pettigrew that is the traitor. Last night I was staring out the window looking for you and I saw a light flashing at me it spelled R-A-T in Morse code, a muggle invention. I know it sounds bloody nutty, I know, but I think I'm right. Last night when Sirius mentioned what his brother had said and then when Dumbledore began to talk to himself about the traitor amongst us Pettigrew started fidgeting and sifting around his chair. I didn't take any note of it until now. James, I know you're scared but so I am and this stomping out the house to find some long lost friend has got me quite cross. If you want to fight this on your own then go ahead but I can't, I need you. I need someone. Arthur Weasley is taking care of Harry today and I barely know him, because everyone else is searching for you whose is searching for Remus. Will you please get in your right mind and come home. I need someone to help me figure this out. I don't like being alone. Please come back to me dearest. I love you.

With Much Hope,

L.S.P

I whistled to our snowy white owl, Jessers, came to my side. He crooked his head so it looked like he was inquiring why tears were streaming down my face and splattering on to the page laid before me. I petted his soft snowy coat and for a second took in all that was happening before I handed the owl an article that could potentially start a war within the Order. If Peter was spying who else was. I couldn't take the chance of not letting someone know. I had to, this could change the fate of my life. "Jess take it to James. If you can't find him then take it to Dumbledore. He'll know what to do. Don't get caught." I walk with the owl over towards my backdoor, kissed his feathered coat, and set him free. "Please, please find him."

After I cleaning Harry's room all morning, I walked back inside to my kitchen where I saw that dishes had piled up. I knew I could get them done with magic but part of me longed to be a muggle still. Oblivious to the witches and wizards around, and the dangers the people in masked posed. I grabbed the soap and turned the sink on. Soon our metal container was filled to the brim with soap bubbles and water. I began washing the dishes by hand and then air drying them. It took me a good two hours before realizing I had been rewashing dishes in the cabinets. They felt cleaner after I washed them by hand. After that I couldn't think of much else to do so I took out more quills and paper and began to write to my now very distant parents.

Mother and Father dearest,

What a long time it has been since I last wrote you. How are you? I hope you are spiffy, and doing well. It's quiet here in Godrics Hollow, at times it gets me quite in a rutty mood, as James puts it. Harry is good, in-fact he said his first words two days ago and took his first steps yesterday. It seems like so long ago though. Is that what it was like with Tuni and me? How is Tuni, Petunia, did she marry that old hag Vernon? I can't imagine what their children will be like! I'm sorry if that is rude, I am trying to find humor in the little ways recently. James and I got in a big fight last night and, well, he left to go find an old friend. Sirius and three other men are looking for him. I can't do this anymore. I can't act like nothing is wrong. We moved because our family is being hunted. I think you should take a trip or cruise. Just get out of England, please for our sake. I couldn't lose you. I must go I think someone is at the door. I love you so much and tell Tuni, I love her to and I shall write shortly.

With Much Hope,

Your Daughter Lily

I put down my pencil and began to quietly sob to myself. I was alone, scared, paranoid and branded for death. I just wrote my parents acting as if not a trifle was wrong, until the end. Will they go? I hope the go. I heard a knock on the door. "Accio wand." In few seconds I was gripping my wand without even having to move. I walked towards the door, practically crawling so they didn't see me.

"A perfect Newt."

I flung open the back door and there stood Peter. The same Peter I just wrote my husband about, the same Peter I branded a traitor. "I was sent to check on you." He stood there in the doorway not moving, rat like head tilted to the side and he smiled a toothy grin. "Lil's are you o.k, you look a little pale." Peter began to move closer to me and instinctively my hand that holstered my wand went at his face. He stood there not moving, paralyzed with fear at the thought of me zapping him to oblivion. "Lily put your wand down it's-"

"Rat."

"I beg your pardon?"

The tip drove further into his forehead, "I said rat."

"Lil's-"

"Don't call me that."

"What's gotten into you? It's me, Peter."

"I'm good, now go!"

He pushed past me, "Where's Harry and why do you look so tired?"

"He's at the Tonks, Dumbledore's orders. Sit down I'll be right back, I'm getting an ice pack for the headache I have." I went to the other room and casted my patronus, a doe, and messaged it. "Peter is here I don't feel safe, come quickly." Then I sent it to Arthur praying it would get there in time. I went back to my kitchen where Peter was still seated. He looked at me with perplexed eyes wondering what I had no ice pack. "Silly me was down here the whole time." I let a quick smile travel in his direction before turning my attention elsewhere. As I grabbed an ice pack he asked, "Have you heard from James?"

"No, I thought you were also hunting for him?"

"No, Sirius sent me home said I wasn't needed. I don't find that very fair. I am a friend of James's," lie, "I should go with them."

"They probably want you elsewhere. I mean protecting me from the Dark Lord." Peter started fidgeting in his seat again, "I hear Voldemort is very powerful these days. It's scary he could use anyone. Tea?"

"No, thank you, I am quite all right," the rat squirmed in his chair, "where's Harry again?"

"Tonks, he's there on Dumbledore order." His head shot up.

"I can't see Edward and Andromeda taking in such an important infant," the rat and all his rat fat began to come close to me. I reached for my wand only to realize I left it on the table, "Or is he really there love?" His rat like nails traced the ink that permanently attached Harry James to me. I couldn't move, I froze in a place of fear, contempt, and betrayal. The one who did this all was standing behind me, tracing my sons name. I tightened my grip on the tea kettle, which had now began to whistle loudly almost echoing the rising tension inside me. I longed for my husband to stun the man, but he was yet to walk through the door. The man who was supposed to protect me was no where to be found.

"Back away from her." I knew the voice, but it wasn't James, Arthur. "Everybody knows it's you, you should leave."

Peter scurried out of my house without looking back but I still couldn't let go of the tea kettle. Arthur set Harry in his hi-chair and nodded. All of a sudden a soft hand wrapped around mine. "Honey, let go." James. I let go and my arms found their way around his waist. I buried my face in his chest and began to sob. He stroked my greasy hair and kissed my forehead. Out of no where a rush of anger ran through my beating heart. I pushed my husband away from me and scowled at him. A scowl he has only twice and is terrified of, "Lily what's the matter?"

"What's the matter? Are you seriously asking me that? You left me alone...to face a traitor...didn't tell me at all where you were...oh, not to mention YOU LEFT ME ALONE! That only covers the surface!"

"But, I came home?"

"I...don't...care!"

"Babe, please, flower?"

"You really wanna push it," out of the corner of my eye I saw Sirius, Ted Tonks, Albus, and Arthur slowly started to back out of the room, "You four don't move." All of them froze, and put there heads down. "Where was he?"

"The Gryffindor common room..."

"You went back to Hogwarts?" I couldn't believe he thought Hogwarts was more of a home then when he was here. "Did Jess get to you?"

"Yes, that's why I came home."

"So let me get this straight," I crossed my arms and popped out my curvaceous hip, "you got a letter from a bird and you came home, but when you have a 1 year old son and a spouse who is terrified out her mind you'll run to Hogwarts. Leaving poor Arthur to pick up the pieces."

"He also found me."

I turned to the hallway, where a scrawny man now stood. Remus. He was bruised and cut in places. He looked good though for a transformation. He stood there arms crossed and feet about shoulder length apart. He had a small grin on his face as he saw me. I couldn't help but break out in a smile as well. Remus was my best guy friend during my last three years at Hogwarts. He was the only one who I felt close enough to to talk about my feelings with. I ran to him and hugged him.

"Oh, Remus!"

"Hey there Lil's." His scrawny arms wrapped me in a tight hug.

"I'll be right back." I turned to me fearful husband.

"Honey I'm sorry-"

"I don't care. Sorry isn't gonna cut it this time."

Then he had the audacity to kiss me, and it worked. My heart melted and my spirits lifted. I wrapped my tired arms around him and he lifted me up.

"Ah hem. What is your two obsession with making out in front of me?" Sirius said. James put me down and I blushed at our shocked old Professor who finally spoke, "Come on boys lets let those two get reacquainted," As he began to leave he looked back at us and winked at us. "Let's all go get a butterbeer and a good meal."

For dinner, we called in Chinese food. After the process of getting my Harry back in cloths was teaching my husband how to use chopsticks. In the process food flew at these items; my son's face, my face, down my shirt (which he insisted he got out), the window, the lamps, and at Sirius's confused face as if he thought we were doing some sort of voodoo. Dinner wasn't the same though.

"Why did you go find Remus?"

"I thought he could help to when Voldemort is attacking. Apperently werewolves like to talk."

"So you left to find a source that may not even be a good source?"

"We'll find out."

The rest of life that evening was quiet, until we put Harry to bed.

"Lily come with me," James reached for my hand. I was timid about going anywhere outside of the house for fear that death would find us, "Please." I let him take my hand. He pulled me into him and we climbed onto the rooftop. Where he had a blanket laid out for us.

"James, what is this?"

"Our seventh year we had a date on the top of the astronomy tower. We danced on the roof and drank warm butterbeer. We laid there and even though it was our second date I was in love with you, all of you. The way you crinkled your nose, bit your lip when you were studying hard, looked up at me and the way your green eyes sparkled like green diamonds. I remember looking at you and knowing you were going to be my wife. I loved how you kept turning me down and how you used your family get together to scare me off, yeah I figured that out quick."

I began to cry. I knew why he was doing this. I didn't want to have this happen. I was scared, so scared.

_That night I had the worst dream. There were a pair Slytherin green eyes staring at me. Eyes which had serpents wrapped around them and the face was splattered with black blood. I reached for Harry but when I went to pick him up my hands dipped into a pool of blood, the very same black blood only with crimson writing. I couldn't make out the writing. My son was dead and he wasn't there. I looked back at the green eyes that were now attached to a body. Voldemort was holding the bleeding carcass of my 15 month old baby boy. Peter was there. He kept whispering things "You didn't save your child, you killed him, not only him but sweet, darling, James. Look at your hands you murderer." I looked at my hands that ran streams of black blood with crimson writing. I could make this out. I put my hands up so my palms could face me, the blood ran down my arms like rolling waves. "Murderer." The Dark Lord began to speak. "You filthy mudblood, you stupid girl, you brilliant murderer. You tried to save your family but you handed them to me. You branded Pettigrew a traitor when you were the most brilliant of them all," The Dark Lord's hand smeared across my face like formal war paint is smeared across a natives face. He put his cold black lips to my ear, "Look at your work, good servant." He moved to the side and I saw it. James, Sirius, Lupin, Arthur, Albus, Ted Tonks, 7 children all with almost neon red hair and chubby women laid next to Arthur, my mother, father, sister, and the entire Order of the Phoenix. All the bodies neatly laid around me in circle. Brutally murdered. My eyes traveled back to my husband's mutilated body and I ran to it. As I got to his feet a force hit me. A glass wall. I turned and ran to my mothers massacred body and once again I got to her feet and ran into a glass wall. I ran back to James, "JAMES! WAKE UP! DON'T BE DEAD BABY! I AM SO SORRY, JAMES FORGIVE ME! Please forgive me." I fell to my face and cried, I heard my master chuckled deeply. I killed everybody, my sobs grew weaker. Anger flowed through me. I was not the Dark Lords servant nor would I ever be. Yet, when I turned my face up he was gone. I looked up and saw a mirror, I stepped over the bodies of my husband and friends and family, all whose dead eyes followed me. I looked in the mirror and saw myself in a black cloak with a mask on, the same mask his followers wear. I through my fist at the mirror and it shattered. I turned around and the dead were standing all pointing at me. I screamed and tried to take the mask off. It was stuck. I screamed again and tried to take the cloak off but it was sewn to my body. Suddenly, Voldemort was speaking to me again. His cold lips pressed against my ear, "Well done good and very faithful servant." I screamed. I thrust myself and the walls of my glass box trying to break free of the Dark Lord's grip. I threw myself at the walls like a pinball. I didn't even make a dent. _

"Lily! It's a dream, just dream," James was pinning my flailing arms around with his feet and holding my face with his hands, "Lily, baby." I began to cry into my husband's chest. I was so incredibly cold. I pushed him away and ran to my full length mirror. No mask, no cloak, but more, importantly no Voldemort. I ran to my son's room and grabbed him. I knew I woke him up but I didn't care. I was holding my warm, breathing, living son. Voldemort was gone for now. James came in and tried to take Harry but I wouldn't let James have him. "Lily go take a shower and write down the dream."

"James what happened to your eye?"

"Umm...Well during the flailing you kinda punched me in the eye."

"James I am so sorry."

"It's o.k, babe, go take a shower. I'll but Harry back to bed," James gave me a kiss on the head, "mmmmm salty."

"What?"

"You are super sweaty."

"What time is it?"

"About five."

"Five bloody o'clock?"

"Yeah, Babe."

I felt burning sensation like acid coming up my esophagus. I tossed Harry to James and ran to the bathroom. About a couple seconds later I was throwing up breakfast, lunch and dinner. James put Harry in his crib and came to the bathroom. He took one look at me and called for Sirius. "SIRIUS!" In about five minutes Padfoot appeared in the doorway slightly disheveled.

"What the bloody Merlin... It's five flipping o'clock in the morning. Lil's you look completely horrid."

"No," I couldn't help but vomit, "sherlock."

"Sherlock?"

James had left to go get Harry so he didn't try to climb out of his crib again. He returned with very alert baby. James handed Harry to Sirius who held the child as if he didn't know what to do with Harry. "I wouldn't mess with-"

"Oh no." Both boys and my little man Harry looked at me with wide-eyed confusion. I started counting on my hand the weeks that had gone by: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8. Eight weeks had gone by since my last cycle. "James I think I'm pregnant!"

James' jaw drop and then after a couple of second his face had a very familiar stupid grin. The same grin he wore when I said yes to our first date, his marriage proposal, seeing me walk down the aisle and the birth of our eldest. He now wore with news of our second child. Yet, I pitied him.


	4. Thursdays pessimisms,and a boy optimisms

Chapter 4 "Thursdays pessimisms, a boy optimisms, and a bouncing boy."

I sat on the floor of the bathroom it was around 10 o'clock in the morning and hadn't left the bathroom because of severe morning sickness. James brought a flurry of food that made throw my guts up so violently I thought baby would come up through my mouth. Harry played in his play pen with his penguin Arthur let him have, to quote him, "_Ron has enough toys believe me." _Between bodily adjustments I stared at my stomach, "Funny."

"What's funny, lil's?"

"Last time I was pregnant, I knew for two months and this time I had no idea."

"That is ironic and somehow I was still in the dark," James realized the change in my eye color, turning evergreen, he knelt down beside me and held me, "James I can't do this."

"Yes, you can."

"I'm scared. There is this beautiful life is inside me," My hands found my belly and begging rubbing it, " and I'm practically the carriage to her death." I began to sob into my knees. "STUPID HORMONES!" James rubbed my back until my sobs ceased and my raging hormones subsided, for now. James, picked me up and put me in his lap. "I named her James. Even though I know it makes it harder."

James pulled my red hair out of my face, "What did you name her love?" His burning hazels met my green. He had been crying, I could tell.

"Ivory Antoinette Potter, Ivy for short."

"Ivy...Ivy...Ivy...I_vy._.._I_vy? Why Ivyeeee?"

"Well, I don't bloody know. I feel like she'd grow on people. Like she's growing on me."

"What if it's another boy?"

"Gabriel Xerxes Potter!"

"Awesome, my kids named after a god!"

"I thought you might like that one."

All of a sudden an old man appeared in the doorway. Smiling and carrying balloons. "I didn't know if these muggle floating devices would be appropriate."

"Where did you get balloons?"

"I had to visit the Prime Minister about a case of muggle deaths. He's getting worried."

"Don't talk about death. I won't hear it." My hormones began to take over my mind like the mixture that was taking over my airways. I released myself from James hold and flung my face into the toilet. Dinosauric sounds filled the room as I motioned for everyone to leave. Curse this baby. When the vomiting subsided, I felt defeated. I had gone an entire 10 minutes without getting sick. An aroma that smelled like rain and tangerines, smoked bacon. Uh-oh. Once-again, my head was dunked into the bowl of putrid acid. James snuck in and held my hair back. "What are you doing in here?"

"When I married you I vowed in sickness and in health. I'm leaving off that first part." James stayed for twenty minutes as I threw my guts up. I was surprised I could keep going I didn't think there was that much left. Finally, it stopped. James carried me to bed. Dumbledore had folded back the sheets and James tucked me into them. He left for about two seconds and returned with a trashcan. He set it down next to the bed and kissed my forehead. "Get some sleep honey, you're exhausted." I looked at his kind eyes. All of a sudden my eyes began to deceive me. There was two James and they were extremely blurry. Then my world fell black and silent.

_I was walking down the halls of Hogwarts, towards the stairwell that led to my favorite class, potions. Unfortunately, in doing this I had to walk past the Slytherin hall that led to their gloomy common room. There was always one or two packs walking my way as well. Ever since Snape called me that horrid name, Mudblood. I was scared to see him. I was so angry at him even though it had been roughly 5 months. He disappointed me. I wished he go away. All of a sudden my books were knocked to the ground. I stared up, Emerson Fiddleton, a seventh year boy who always had the likings for me. He lived by the status of Pure bloods were, are, and will be always better. "Hey, mudblood," his index finger traced my quivering jaw line, "you know you are the most beautiful ginger mudblood I have ever seen." His hand began to slowly get a grip on my on the back of neck. The rest of his pack of immature friends walked away with smirks on there faces. Emer's teeth and lips were gnawing on my small ear, "Why don't we get a room, love?"_

_ "Don't call me that," I tried to free myself from the beater's grip. _

_ "Why, love? You like it when that idiot Potter calls you that. So why can't I?" His hands began to trace my waist line and move their way up. I once-again tried to free myself from his grip. His grip moved from my neck to my hair, he pulled it back. I whimpered. "You like that?" _

_ "No," I began to cry, "I don't." _

_ "Oh shoo, shoo, don't cry," He put his index finger under my chin in order for me to look at him, while thumb wiped away flowing tears, "why don't we find a dark room darling mudblood?" He had such grip on my hair that I couldn't say no. "That's a really good answer, filth." _

_ "Please, stop calling me that." I begged Emer's to stop. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. This wasn't supposed to happen. Emerson didn't loosen his grip on my hair as he went behind me. He told me to walk so I did but not before I made one final attempt to break free. Emerson's forearm held me by my waist. I kick my legs up, head butted him and screamed, "JAMES! JAMES! SOMEONE! HELP!" _

_Emer's grip around my waist tightened cutting off my air. His other forearm moved around neck choking me, he pinned my face against the cold brick wall, "You yell like that again and I'll twist your dainty little neck." His bulky fingers found his way to my mouth. I bit his hand. "OUCH. OK someone likes play dirty. You're going to pay for that though." His dirty calloused hands grabbed my neck and hair. He pulled hard. I screamed as loud as I could with his hand over my mouth. I kicked and squirmed as he choked me. I began to cry. He found an unoccupied room and dropped me on the ground. I began gasping for the air which I desperately craved._

_ "James, someone, anyone, please!" I begged to the air as I began to attempt to crawl away. Emer's was assessing that damage I gave him to his head. I got to the door turned the knob and ran. I got about halfway down the hallway when a curse hit me from behind. I managed a yell as I turned to see how close Emerson was when I hit the floor with the back of my head, hard. My head was throbbing. Before I knew it he was on top of me. _

_ "Stupid, filthy,mudblood." He kissed with such force it hurt. I couldn't breath with such weight sitting on my diaphragm. I longed for anyone, even, Snape to come and save me. His hands began to feel there way up my side. "Isn't your little boyfriend coming? I was hoping so much that he was going to so that he could see what happens when he's not looking, mudblood." All of a sudden a rough hand struck my face and then knuckles punched my gut. The next slap came across my other cheek and the other punch felt like he went under my ribs. He slapped me again until I was raw and bruising. Then a splicing pain came from my right cheek. His family ring had cut my cheek open. I screamed out in pain. This time I was heard. _

_ "GET YOUR BLOODY HANDS OFF OF HER!" A blue light flew at Emerson, knocking him off of me. I rolled over gasping for air, holding my face as tears would sting the open cut. I cried, I couldn't stop crying. My vision began to blur. All of a sudden James' face came into focus. "Hey, baby girl, how you doing?" I could see Sirius and Lupin going after Emerson with wands drawn. I smiled a weak smile, "Sirius and Lupin are going after him. Pettigrew went to go get help. Dumbledore will very much want to make sure you're o.k." _

_ "How did you find me?" I asked weakly. I could only manage a few words. I looked up at my rescuer and saw something about James I never saw before. In those hazel eyes, they were filled with a powerful kindness. They were gentle and warm. I could trust them instead of the black eyes that just desecrated me. A feeling of safety wrapped around me like neither wind nor fire could hurt me, like no one else was there._

_ "When you didn't show up for potions I got worried, that's you're favorite class. I remember when you had Pneumonia and you skipped every other class except that one. So I asked Professor Slughorn if I could go look for you. Annie said she saw you leave and walk down here but then you just disappeared. I rallied up the gang and we went to look for you when I heard you scream. I also saw the curse that hit you, he will be expelled for that one. Don't worry lily pad, he won't hurt you again." He ripped off a piece of his robe and put it on my cheek. _

_ "James the pain." _

_ "I know, dear, I know." _

_ I knew then I was going to marry the boy with kind eyes.._

_ "JAMES, WE GOT HIM!" I could hear Remus shout from down the hall._

_ "THAT'S WHAT UP! 2 curses and this perv was down!" I could vaguely make out the shapes of two boys and some sort of heap floating in the air. The floating mass was a tied up, squirming, conscious Emerson Fiddleton. I pushed myself into James' body. Afraid the boy would break free. "How is she?" Lupin bent down to my level. "It's o.k, Lil's I'm not going to hurt you, let me take a look, just to see how deep the cut is." James bent his head down and whispered in my ear._

_ "It's o.k love." I screamed and began crying again. _

_ "DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN. HE CALLED ME THAT!" I pointed up toward the wriggling mass. _

_ "STUPID MUDBLOOD!" Emer's spat in my general direction, but he missed and hit James instead. James anger overflowed. He got up with me in his arms and handed me to Remus. Then my world fell into a pit of darkness._

"Dumbledore, can we hide, move again?"

"I thought you detested moving."

"That's before Lily was pregnant."

"James I can't, it' s chaos in here. Right now, we are so overwhelmed with what Peter did-"

"What he did was the past we cant change that. We can change fate though."

"What Peter did affects your fate. I don't know how much he told the Dark Lord. Also the Longbottom's were just tortured not but three days ago over information about you. They haven't woken up yet, I don't know how to assess damage right now."

I rolled over and my clock read 1pm. I had only slept 3 hours. It felt like more. Thankfully, I thought the morning sickness had resided. I was starving as well yet I wanted to hear what my hubby and Albus were quarreling about.

"Peter told the Dark Lord where we live now. So what if we hid at someone else's house?"

"I can't let you!"

"WHY...why not?"

"There may be more spies in the Order the just Peter. Some may be under a spell one which he would protect very deeply. Snape came to me earlier as well. Says he changed side."

"How long was that?"

"About three months time, he's actually the one who warned me."

"Couldn't he detour Voldemort from the house then? While we escaped there is a cottage on the ocean front that the Weasley's own."

"Does Peter know?"

"He might. But, he wouldn't know that we were there."

"If you're not here that's the next place he would go James."

"We don't know that, James please understand."

"I understand that my close mate just betrayed me, I understand that I can't handle situations like this very well, I understand that it's chaos in both Muggle and Magical worlds. I don't understand why I can't change Lil's, Harry's, and Ivory's fate. I die to protect them. I'll stay behind."

"Ivory?"

"Lily named her Ivory Antoinette Potter."

"If it's another boy?"

"Gabriel Xerxes Potter."

"Aww after a judge and god. He would be a wise child."

"Thank you, so let me protect her."

"Potter, your stubbornness hasn't change since that old hat put you in Gryffindor."

"Thank you, put them in hiding please. I don't matter."

By this point I had had enough. I threw back the sheets and knocked over the trashcan as I stomped towards our oak door. "How dare you."

"Lily? How long have you been awake?" "Long enough and you matter to me. I couldn't raise two children on my own."

"You'd have Sirius, Remus, and Pe-, I mean Arthur and his wife."

"I want you not them." I touched the place on my face where there was a scar from the cut I had received so long ago, James' hand met mine. "Till death do us part."

"Don't say that."

"James, if he kills you he wont stop looking for us. You'd die in vain. They say he's growing weaker but I don't believe so I believe he's growing stronger. He has horcruxes he'll never fully die."

"Don't say that."

"James we have to face reality."

"Don't say that."

"Lily, James." We turned to look at Dumbledore. The old symbol of hope, comfort, control, stability now turned to a symbol of unknown, despair, coldness, and chaos. If Albus Dumbledore and all of his wisdom couldn't save us what could? "You know what to do." Albus enveloped us in hug. "It has been a pleasure and great honor to fight this fight with you." Then he apperated, leaving James and I embracing each other with silent tears streaming down our faces. We couldn't speak, this life we knew was over, our live would end at just the start. We knew we going to die.

After a couple hours of silence and sitting here on our maroon sofa. We looked at each and knew what we had to do. We patronused Dumbledore as a sign we were ready to continue in our arrangements. While we waited for him to come to our house we tidied up. I had the tried patience to teach my husband how vacuum Muggle style. That took about an hour seeing as every time it would start he'd run away like a Cornish Pixie. Then we got to the laundry, he would ran away, like a deer, fearing the dryer would eat him. To quote "Bloody Merlin that device will suck my soul like a muggle dementor." Fortunately, Albus came about an 5 minutes later and judged the looks on our faces we knew what was about to happen.

"Hello Potters," Albus embraced both of us and choked back a sob, "It is good to see you again. Yet, I am burdened with the fear it may be our last."

"Oh, Albus, people always say they wish to know their future but to know your future can leave you in an uncontrollable spiral towards depression."

"A wise way to look at things, Mr. Potter."

"Albus you know to call me James, we are friends."

"O.k, James."

"Would you like some tea Albus? We have lots."

"I would love some."

I went into the kitchen and began brewing tea. Slowly I started realizing whats happening and the extremes of it I was 21 years old and I was practically on my death bed. To know was fate was to deal with it. I pushed back the tears. MY only hope was that we had evaded Him three times already. Perhaps we could do it again. Yet, an ominous feeling told me we were. I was so zoned out that I didn't hear the tea kettle going off. I was just staring off into a black hole.

"Lily?"

"Yes, sorry." I brought tea to the headmaster and my spouse.

"Well, this is the fourth time we have done this maybe we could get a fifth."

James and I managed a weak smile. We had already thought of this. We had already began to pack up our belongings. The half empty shelves, clothing we wouldn't need we gave to the Weasley's, the pictures of Harry, my family, James' family, our family all off the walls and packed away tightly. Our stories, memories, hopes, and dreams packed away in boxes once again. A fake smile is truly all we could muster. Harry played in his play pen once again oblivious to the fact that at any point he could be orphaned or dead. "Albus. How well do you know old magic?"

"Not well my dear, it 's been a while. What can I help you with?"

"I read an article talking about how a mother once sacrificed herself for her daughter and when the killer tried to kill the daughter after he mother the curse rebounded. It protected the daughter and when the killer got out of Azkaban he could touch her. Thus again defeated."

"Oh, my dear Lily. That is old magic most say its a myth and can't be done. Some say you have to be so pure at heart that one piece of self indulgence wouldn't let it happen. It's the hardest magic to do."

"Thank you."

James looked at me think the same thought. "All we have to do is look over his trust fund and who shall take care of him in case of our death..." James lingered on the word 'death.'

"Yes, it states here that Sirius Black is to take care of him."

"We are going to change that."

"O.k to whom Lily?"

_Dumbledore sat across from us. He looked calm but his eyes burned with a fire of fear. A man by the name of Voldemort was slowing gaining power in the muggle and magical world. Werewolves were at his dispense, infrels used at his leisure and giants carrying out his commands in he forest, and a team of "Death Eater" making death calls and acting like the Grim Reaper. We knew why we were there. Two months ago there was a prophecy made about a baby born at the end of July. "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies ..._" When Harry was born at the end of July. We weren't allowed to take him home for a couple of days. They put him under lock and key in order to protect him in case of an attack. Minerva had taken Harry to "play" with. James and his paranoia made him think he was going to transfigure our two month old and kept insisting on go to check on him. 

_"You know why your here." _

_ "__Funny, you said that when I was in trouble." _

_"You are...in a way." _

_I chimed in finally, "Albus we know the problem, what's the solution?"_

_"Always so analytical Lily Evans Potter." _

_"I just want to know what is going to happen to my son." _

_ "If worse comes to worse you'll have to go into hiding. You will have to cut ties with all family members, friends and your lives as you know it. I'm sorry for this. If there was anyway to stop him... there is another who had a child around the end of the seventh month. A sweet family, Alice and Frank Longbottom-"_

_ "Alice... Alice as in Alice Puritt? She in any danger?" _

_ "Some the same amount as you are. They had a son named Neville Longbottom. We have already placed them in hiding. A certain witch by the name of-" _

_ "Let me guess Bellatrix Lestrange."_

_ "Excuse me, James?"_

_ "Bellatrix Lestrange," James stood up, "Cousin of Sirius Black also known as deranged pyscho path, to her very close... haters." _

_ "How did you know about her?"_

_ "She came to my house one time. Walburga, beast of a women, sent her over to 'reclaim' Sirius. They wanted to convert him back to the loyally dark House of Black. Sirius wouldn't hear of it. He slammed the door in her face and didn't open it until she left." _

_ "Well, she has taken a sudden interest in the Longbottom's. There's something else we need to talk about."_

_ James was still pacing around the room in anger the thought of this deranged lunatic had come back into his life. So I answered the questions. "What's that Albus?" _

_ "A will." _

_ "A will...?" _

_ "Yes, something that states what is to happen to your belonging when you die. Most importantly what happens to Harry in case of an incident." _

_ "Like a guardian?"_

_ "Yes, Lily, like a guardian." _

_ "Sirius that's easy." _

_ "Excuse me James but why not someone from my family." _

_ "Well, seeing as you're a witch and only your parents and melodramatic sister know about that. I see your muggle family being potentially problematic."_

_ "Excuse me! MY FAMILY YOUR PARENT ARE SO OLD THEY WERE AROUND WHEN THE FIRST DRAGON POX EPIDEMIC HIT!"_

"Petunia Dursley, my sister," James looked at me in confusion, "Sirius will be hunted, he can't have Harry with him. Petunia has separated herself enough from the wizarding world and myself. That Harry will be safe there."

"And the case of his trust being held at Gringotts bank?"

"Freeze it with interest. No one is to touch until gets his letter. Then and only then can that vault be opened." I was happy James was letting me make all the decisions. It soothed me. I felt my the baby jump. I squeezed James hand letting him know I couldn't go on. I left room to go clean more already clean dishes. "...umm we probably should wrap this up we have to finish packing up our belongings."

"Yes, well, good luck Potters." Albus and my husband embraced one last time. I longed for my parents to hold me. For my mothers quiet breath to tell me everything will be o.k. I needed my fathers lanky warm arms around me telling his princess that I was going to be o.k. Part of me long to know what death felt like. If it hurt or was painless, if it was quick or slow.

"Stop thinking about it. Lily you must stop thinking about it." I looked up at my husband and wrapped my arms around him. He gave me a kiss on the forehead. Monday we were making out on changing tables and laughing and throwing pillows at each other . Four day later, we were packing up our belongings and making plans for our 15 month old son, in case we were to die. "LILY!" James had my face in his hands, "You must stop, we have a son to be strong for. Just thinking happy thoughts."

"Remember how you first asked me out?"

"How could I forget."

"You got the entire frog choir to serenade me to each class."

"Yeah, I did."

"Remember when you saved me?"

"I saved you?"

"From Fiddleton."

"That day you saved me Lily. That day I realized I couldn't live without you. I can't live without you. So no matter what Voldemort does, he can rip the bloody world apart and I will always be with you no matter what. If we lose all of our belongings and we become homeless I will be with you. Even in the afterlife I decided that day I would be with you. I didn't know about you but I fell in love with you that day."

"I did to."

Sirius knocked on the wall, "Hey." James ran to his brother and embraced him. The two held each other for support. "I'm sorry but I bring news."

"What news."

"Regulus reached out to me. He says that the Dark Lord is preparing to strike."

"Do you know when?"

"No."

"How's Regulus?"

"He's in hiding, he left the Death Eaters said chasing around an innocent family to kill them isn't what he signed up for."

"What did he sign up for then? Cakes, crumpets and tea."

"HEY! THAT'S MY BROTHER!"

"I DON'T CARE HE WAS IN LEAGUE WITH HIM."

"BOYS, stop." Both turned to me, "It doesn't matter what he did what matters is what he is doing. He's helping us. Sirius can you help pack?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's o.k."

Sirius ran to the basement and brought up more boxes.

By 5 o'clock we had the entire living room packed up. As the day went on Molly Weasley brought us food. She never came in though she'd leave at the door in the secret passage way. I think she couldn't bear to see what was happening. It was to hard for her. She was a mother of boys as well I think it was to close to home. Arthur came over around six and made dinner for us and helped back up our bathroom, bedroom and half of Harry's small room. Andromeda and Edward Tonks came over around eight to help clean silver, gold and clean the house, in-general. I asked specifically to this all muggle style it took us longer but it felt familiar. It felts good. Dusting, vacuuming, cleaning dishes and wrapping china dishes all by hand. The wizards and witches didn't understand or reciprocate the feeling but for the sake of a stressed pregnant girl they went along like children playing a game of hide and seek. Only this time it was a game of hide or die. Soon my entire living and family room was 2 empty shelves, one sofa and boxes full of our lives. In the kitchen we only had the fridge filled with basic necessities in case we ran. Our cabinets and counters were barren. Not even dust. Arthur left around 10 and the Tonks left around 11. So we sat in our empty, hollowed home with our sleeping child. Eeriness filling every creak, rattle or wind swept scratch.


End file.
